For me: a must read.
Reading Moran's book I could quickly see that I was the exact target audience for the content: white, cis, straight, leftie male. I try my best to be a feminist but I know that sometimes I end up being an apologist for my own gender.
Moran doesn't slam men in her book (as easy as that might be) she instead asks me to celebrate or be proud my masculinism in a way that doesn't have to be toxic or have causalities.
Her book has made me question what I consider the ideal values for being a man are. I'm not sure yet, but I'd long given up even asking the question.
She also gives some damn good reasoning to help understand the existence of the angry white men, boys that are being, effectively brain washed. It's something I don't have personal experience of, but having a young son, I'm even more aware of where he gets his information and inspiration from.
There's a lot of really good content in her book, both to spark discussion and reflective thought, but also stories of other men's experiences both positive and negative - which has helped me see the similarities in how I conduct myself as a man.
If you're anything like me, I highly, highly recommend reading this book.
12 Highlight(s)
'Masculinity … is a pseudo-independence, [appearing "masculine" by] hiding relational desires and sensitivities,' they summarise.
The primary problem of straight white men and boys. Because in our culture, they are seen as the 'default human being' – the 'normal' that the 'otherness' of women, people of colour and the queer community are defined against – it's almost as if the actual details of their lives have become see-through. Invisible.
the latest metadata is that there is a negligible amount of difference between our actual brains. In terms of straightforward biology, and wiring, we are very similar. Culturally, however, the way boys and girls learn to communicate is observably different.
But one final thing to bear in mind: if 2–4 per cent of those rape allegations were false, the other 96–98 per cent were true. It might be your friend-of-a-friend is lying. False rape accusations might not be as prevalent as you fear they are. After all: all humans lie.
But the second, and possibly most crucial thing, is this: are you taking life advice from someone who is actually having a nice life? In the end, those are the only people you should really be listening to.
A man was someone who helped and contributed to their community. A man was brave enough to say no and confident enough to say yes. Finally, a man was someone who was honest with those around him, and could tell those he loved that he loved them without fear.
Generation X might have many descriptors, but 'over-fathered' isn't one of them.
my generation's fathers weren't actually building a Death Star (three times!), they were the guys who tackled childcare by parking the car outside the Red Lion and occasionally posting a bag of crisps or a bottle of Coke through the driver's window, while beerily hissing, 'Don't spill it.'
In so many cases, Dad isn't 'Dad' – he's just 'Not Mum'. He's the person doing what Mum would do if she were here.
'What does Carol Vorderman do when she's constipated?' 'She works it out with a pencil.')
In 2016, Britain's biggest charity for the old reported that over 1.2 million older men report feeling 'socially isolated', with 10 per cent 'chronically lonely'.
There's something about that ageing male desire to fix things up in their own space that is hopeful, and slightly subversive in its absolute rejection of the pace of life, and mad consumer culture.'